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"Agent Double-Zip Forty-Nine, reporting for action!"
—Jack Longhorn

Jack Longhorn is an original character designed by LeeHatake93. Jack Longhorn resides in the Agent 0049 Universe.

Jack Longhorn was a name commonly associated with the "Longhorn's Outhouse" chain of veggie burger restaurants. Calling himself Agent 0049, Jack was enlisted by Percy Platinum, a director for the International Association of Animal Agents, in order to fill in for another bovine agent. Astonishingly, Longhorn managed to successfully complete his first mission and has been with the I.A.A.A. ever since.

Biography

Jack Longhorn was born on May 28 in Farmer's Ranch, Texas. He was born to Arnold and Martha Longhorn, long-time owners of a small-town restaurant called "Longhorn's Outhouse", a place that serves veggie burgers and other herbivore-centric meals. As Jack grew older, his parents' restaurant blossomed into a franchise and the small-town business was known throughout the country.

In his youth, Jack always enjoyed watching action movies, which led him to beg his parents to enroll him in Fu-Man's Kung-Fu Academy. When he arrived, he met master Fu-Man Chusaki, a feline martial artist expert renowned for his Karate skills. Jack was honored to be taught by him, and trained for several years before finally getting his black belt.

After completing his martial arts training, Jack dreamed of putting his skills to use in any situation he could, however, Master Fu-Man forbade this, saying that martial arts should be used as a defensive measure, never for violence. Though Jack tried to convince him he'd use his powers for good, the feline master threatened to revoke his black belt status if he went against his teachings. Even though it wouldn't affect his abilities, revoking his status would hinder any chances of Jack being recognized as a martial artist, so he agreed to Master Fu-Man's conditions and vowed not to use his skills unless in self-defense. With no other professions in mind, Jack applied for his parents' own restaurant, and slowly climbed through the ranks of dishwasher and waiter up to chef and eventually owner of his parents' local store.

Impressed with Jack's growth in the restaurant business, Arnold and Martha announced they would retire, but leave their franchise in the hands of their son. After taking on his new role, Jack began living the easy life. He bought himself a red Mustang convertible, often enjoyed eating at Mexican restaurants from time-to-time, and despite his wealth, continued to live in a traditional home in Texas. However, his life would soon be changed forever.

Upon a visit to his favorite restaurant, Jack ordered nachos, though before he could enjoy them inside, his car alarm began going off. He got his order to go and went outside to investigate his vehicle. When he got into the car, the doors slammed and he was unable to unlock them. Before he could attempt to use his karate skills to break out, a screen suddenly appeared from the steering wheel, which surprised Jack to the point of fainting. However, he kept his consciousness and observed the screen as a platypus appeared. The platypus introduced himself as Percy Platinum, and inquired "Are you Jack Texas Longhorn, CEO of Longhorn's Outhouse and black belt from Fu-Man's Kung-Fu Academy?". Jack was shocked that this guy knew so much about him, but he answered with a simple "yes" before asking Percy how he knew so much about his life, what he wanted with him, and whether or not he'd get to eat his nachos.

Percy explained that he was the head of an organization known as the International Association of Animal Agents, or "I.A.A.A." for short, and that his agency was in crucial need for a replacement agent for Agent Cow, as the were tasked with uncovering a mysterious item to avoid it being used as a weapon in the hands of their most notorious adversary, Victor von Viper. Jack became thrilled at the chance to finally use his skills for something other than cooking and jumped at the chance to join the I.A.A.A., however, Percy noted that Jack would simply be a stand-in for Agent Cow, and would only being recruited until Agent Cow recovered from her illness. Despite this, Jack was ready to jump into action and finally eat his nachos, though not in that specific order. Percy caught onto Jack's concerns and added that Agent Cow had been planning to retire, so if the Agency were impressed with his performance, he could take her place. He also added that Jack could have nachos back, but only if he bought another order for himself. Percy hadn't eaten lunch and it turns out that nachos are also his favorite.

Jack agreed and met with Percy at his home, before being knocked out and his face covered with a potato sack. When he awakened, Jack was in a large white room filled with monitors and weapon racks. Percy approached him, wiping cheese from his face with a napkin, and personally apologized, stating it was standard procedure for new recruits to not discover the true location of the I.A.A.A. Jack claimed it wasn't a problem and brought it to Percy's attention that the total for his meal was $3.95. Percy apparently didn't notice and moved onto briefing Jack on the details of his mission.

A notable and powerful component, simply labeled as "Item A-1", had been recently stolen from Washington D.C., previously in the possession of President Brock Llama. It was stolen by Victor von Viper, a notorious villain and the leader of the infamous V.I.P.E.R. crime syndicate. The true nature of Item A-1 was widely unknown as it had been stored away in a tightly locked briefcase, though informants had uncovered plans for a powerful element capable of charging the most destructive laser technology. The I.A.A.A. feared that Viper would use this to power a doomsday weapon and threaten the stability of the world. Jack's mission was to infiltrate an outpost being used as a temporary HQ for V.I.P.E.R., steal back the briefcase, and make his way back out so Percy himself could disable the weapons and call in von Viper's arrest.

Without hesitation, Jack jumped up and exclaimed "I'm ready for anything!". Surprised, Percy gave Jack floor plans for the V.I.P.E.R. outpost and began going over the standards for I.A.A.A. agents, providing details on various gadgets and weapons, giving him stealth advice, and outfitting him for a temporary tuxedo. Without further preparation, Jack set out on his mission...

[FURTHER INFORMATION IS CONFIDENTIAL PROPERTY OF THE I.A.A.A.]

Appearance

Jack is a brown-furred Texas Longhorn that stands upright like a human. Though he is a Longhorn, his horns are actually average size compared to real-life cattle. Instead of hands and feet, Jack actually just has hooves, with small thumb-like appendages on his "hands" to accommodate for his lack of traditional "fingers". He often wears a black tuxedo with a red tie, even before he joined the International Association of Animal Agents, as it makes him feel important.

Despite appearing lean and fit when seen from the front, Jack actually has a husky physique. When viewed from the side, Jack looks as large as any bull would appear in reality.

Personality

Jack has an outgoing personality, often ready to take challenges head-on and won't waver until he gets the job done, as shown when he applied to learn martial arts and took his responsibilities in the "Outhouse" restaurant very seriously. After learning martial arts, he developed an honorable personality, greeting new people with respectful comments, and refers to certain people with honorifics, such as Mr., Miss, Senior, and -san, with respect for their cultural background. Jack is also proud his his size, calling himself a "burly bovine", and feels that his large size is a valuable asset.

Jack is a die-hard fan of movies, video games, and comic books, often drawing comparisons between fictional characters and those whom he interacts with, such as comparing Count Alucard to Dracula himself, and his entire career as "being like a Tactical Espionage movie". Against his enemies, he isn't afraid to berate them with insults, laughing at the idea of a "small snake" like Victor von Viper being a criminal mastermind, and often comparing Sharkiro Ramirez to a seafood entree. Though he doesn't claim to hold grudges, Jack often reminds Percy Platinum of the $3.95 he owes him for his plate of nachos every time he sees him. He never gets angry about the ordeal, though, it often irritates him slightly. Jack also uses a form of profanity that often uses the names of animals as substitutions for real-life curses, such as "Son of a Brangus", "Bullshark Shenanigans", "Buck-smelling Angus Face", and "Biscuit-eating Bulldog".

Abilities

  • Martial Artist: Jack is a black belt in karate.
  • Top Chef: Jack is a skilled cook, as he rarely receives bad reviews from his restaurants, and critics often praise his meals.
  • Immunity to Vampirism: An interesting note about the Longhorn family, and the Cattle species in general, is that they are immune to vampirism.
    • Vampire's Bane: As an expansion of his vampiric immunity, Jack's blood is toxious to vampires. Whether it's due to the fact that he enjoys garlic, or if it's just a terrible pun is unknown.
  • Stealth Adept: Jack is fairly adept at stealth, regardless of his size and hooves.
  • Secret Agent: As a member of the I.A.A.A., Jack has access to a wide arsenal of spy gadgets, such as laser bracelets, confusion rays, robotic clones, and even pens with unlimited ink.
    • Clever Disguise: One such gadget is the Transem Ray, which swaps the gender of the person affected by it. Jack uses this to create his alter-ego, Jane Langston, a real estate agent.

Relationships

Family

  • Arnold Longhorn: Father
  • Martha Longhorn: Mother

Allies

  • Fu-Man Chusaki: Karate Sensei
  • Percy Platinum: Boss, Director of the I.A.A.A.
  • Bob the Alien: Extraterrestrial, Friend
  • Steve-Droid: Robot, Bob's personal assistant

Enemies

  • Victor von Viper:: Arch-Nemesis, Leader of V.I.P.E.R.
  • Caesar Crock: Viper's right-hand man
  • Gorilla Grunts: Viper's Henchmen
  • Count Alucard: Vampire Bat, deceased
  • Sancho Sharkiro Ramirez: Shark, Member of V.I.P.E.R.
  • Piranha Parker: Sharkiro's right-hand man
  • Sea Enemies: Sharkiro's henchmen

Trivia

  • Jack originated from a short story written in high school called "Jack the Cow".
  • "Longhorn's Outhouse" is a parody of "Longhorn's Steakhouse" and "Outback Steakhouse".
    • Despite this, it doesn't serve steak or anything from venison to pork or poultry, although it does serve imitation fish for carnivorous customers.
  • Jack owns a snakeskin wallet.
  • Percy owing Jack $3.95 for the nachos is a running gag throughout the series, and it is unknown if he'll ever be repaid.
  • Jack has an irrational fear of clowns.
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LeeHatake93

For the user, see User:LeeHatake93.
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